Tips to encourage your children to become natural writers

A version of this post first appeared on my original blog, M and J in a Nutshell. On that blog, I documented a variety of things, but I kept a strong focus on education and homeschooling. This post features several updates.

 

Many children, including mine, don't have a natural enthusiasm for writing. For years, it was a chore to get my now adult child to write anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. By the time my child was 13 years old, however, they were writing every day -- and without prompting or instruction from me.

 

So, what changed? Did I force my child to sit and write daily? No. Did some other teacher or tutor make my kiddo write every day? 

 

No. Instead, I changed a few of our family habits and my approach to teaching my homechooled child to write. I believe some of our initial struggles stemmed from a rigid writing curriculum used by my child's school district prior to our switch to homeschooling and due to my child's predisposition towards extreme rule following. We switched from public school to homeschooling halfway through fourth grade and it was a game changer.

 

While we used some specific writing, grammar, and general Language Arts curriculum in our homeschool program, the most effective things have been the least academic.

Here are some tips, based on our experiences, that might help your child become a better or more engaged writer:

 

First, make sure your children have the tools to write! And, make those items as easily accessible as possible for your children. As obvious as this may seem, I am amazed when I arrive to tutor a student and there are no pens or pencils to be seen. No paper. No notebooks. Nothing...how is one to write without the tools? 

 

Put out a pencil or pen jar, a tub of fun erasers, and a pile of notebooks or paper. Make it easily accessible. And, those pages that you print off, then toss away? If the other side is blank, put it in a box for scratch paper -- my child frequently used such paper for sketching out new ideas or making notes.

 

You can even go a step further and have your child help to decorate containers to hold their pens, pencils, and paper. Let them use fun pencils or pens. Let them use color! This is non-academic writing, so color and fun can be part of the process.

Writing and art supplies on top of a small cabinet.

 

Provide a variety of notebooks from basic lined notebooks to fun, colorful journals, and even sketchpad style notebooks. July and August are a great time to stock up on notebooks, journals, and writing supplies since most stores will have great back-to-school sales! You should be able to find a wide selection of notebooks, pens and pencils at very low cost. Notebooks are great for journaling, writing stories, keeping lists, and more.

As an avid writer of letters, and with several pen-pals throughout the world, I am often asked about finding pen-pals for children. Honestly, I think it is a great idea, but children don't make very good pen-pals without extensive parental involvement and encouragement. Most of the time it is the parent who wants their child to have a pen-pal, and the child has little interest. Wait until your child is asking on their own about pen-pals, then investigate options. That said, I do have a few tips on encouraging children to write snail-mail letters...

Get a fun, colorful box and fill it with cute stationery and postcards. The local dollar store usually has a good selection at a low price. Even better, take your child to pick out their own stationery! Your computer also probably has some cute fonts, backgrounds, and clip art to create your own. When you see a rack of postcards, buy some! Anytime you travel, be sure to pick up postcards too. 

 

Have your kids use the stationery and postcards to write to grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even to you. Have them write silly notes to their best friend or the child that lives next door. Your kids are more likely to keep writing to these people than to a stranger from a pen-pal exchange. If your kids are writing to friends and family that live nearby, you don't even need to mail the cards and letters. Have your kids walk next door or take them with you to deliver their notes in person. Your kids will love seeing the faces of their friends and family light up with joy...and, they will be encouraged to write another letter or postcard!

Our family mailbox...I don't recall where we found it!

 

Set up a family mailbox. This can be just an empty shoe box, or you can go all out and buy an actual mailbox at the local hardware store! Set it somewhere easily accessible to everyone in the family, and let the kids decorate it. Whenever they have something to tell you, but for some reason they don't want to just say it, they can write a note and put it in the mailbox. This is fun for sharing jokes, silly secrets, or a simple "I love you", but it can also be helpful for starting difficult conversations too.

These are fun ways to engage your child in writing, without the stress of academic assignments. 

 

The key to having your child continue writing is to be non-critical of fun, non-academic writing. Your child's spelling, grammar, and content will all be addressed by their teacher or when you go over their schoolwork. Your child's journal, letters, postcards, and notes are informal expressions that they put their heart into. Expect them to make mistakes, but also expect the lessons from school to eventually work their way into their informal writing. 

 

Be supportive and encouraging so that they keep it up for a lifetime!

 

Are your children natural writers? What have been their best and worst writing experiences?

 

Interested in buying a family mailbox? Check out the options below from Amazon! Please note, these are affiliate links and may result in a small commission for me if you purchase through them -- thank you in advance.

 

 

 

7 Ways to Use "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn

This year, in addition reading some children's books as part of my work on Mom2MomEd, I'm also participating in a children's literature reading challenge hosted by Mrs. Sarah Collier of Belle's Library and the Victorian Letter Writers Guild. 

My inaugural book for the Children's Literature Challenge is The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. My child (now an adult) and I first received this book as a gift from my mother several years ago when my kiddo was still quite young. 

The Kissing Hand holds a special place in my heart because it was instrumental in helping us in adjusting to the emotional turmoil that comes with going back and forth between divorced parents (read about my suggested books for divorce HERE). Although the book is the story of a child going to school for the first time, it easily is applied to any form of temporary separation between parent and child.

 

Here are 7 ways to use The Kissing Hand beyond simply reading it with your child (or on your own):

1. Start a Kissing Hand tradition with your child

 

When my child was struggling with the emotional ups and downs of going back and forth between mom's house and dad's house, we started every exchange by kissing each other's palms and holding them to our cheeks. My child then could put palm to cheek during their time with their dad and thus would be reminded of my love. My kiddo told me several times that it helped them to feel better. 

 

2. Encourage your child to have a Kissing Hand tradition with family members that live far away, that they don't get to see often, or that are towards the end of life

 

Keeping in mind safety measures around viruses (Covid-19 as just the most worrisome as I write this), your child can start a Kissing Hand tradition with a loved one outside of the immediate family. If the loved one is too far away or it isn't safe to exchange palm kisses, you can kiss your child's palm and tell them, "Grandma gave me this kiss for you. You can put your palm to your cheek anytime you miss grandma or are thinking about her. Grandma loves you so much and would be so happy to know that you have her kiss in your palm."

 

3. Use The Kissing Hand anytime your child is nervous about trying something new or going somewhere new without you

 

In the book, the little racoon is nervous about starting school which prompts Mama to teach him about The Kissing Hand. Your child could use the same concept for any new situation or place -- a lesson or class, taking a flight without you (started flying alone at age 8!), starting up with a new babysitter, and so on. 

 

4. Teach your child to self-soothe anxiety, stress, or fear 

If your child tends towards anxiety or excessive stress or feels fearful at times, but maybe The Kissing Hand and holding a palm to a cheek isn't ideal, you could kiss your child's palm and have them kiss their other palm. 

 

Teach them to hold their palms together, interlacing their fingers, and pressing their palms into one another. They can then visualize their kiss and your kiss and the love between you. The side benefit is that the whole exercise of putting the palms together, interlacing the fingers, and then pressing against their own palms can help to reduce stress and anxiety. There are many other ways to do this that are similar -- tapping, pressure points, and so on -- but this is one that a child can do without anyone noticing. They can put their hands under their desk or simply in their lap and anyone that notices will just see a child sitting with their hands together. Your child will know that they have a little secret centered on your love for one another.

 

5. Introduce or practice early math literacy skills

 

If you flip through The Kissing Hand, you'll notice that it's filled with gorgeous illustrations, most of which have a multitude of different animals within the scenes. You can have your children count the animals on any given page or count all of the animals in the entire book or count a specific type of animal (how many frogs are there? bunnies? owls?). For kids that are already counting, you can begin to incorporate some basic addition: "If we have two frogs on this page and one frog on that page, how many frogs do we have?"

 

6. Play "I Spy"

 

You can turn many pages into the book into scavenger hunts: "Where is the frog? Can you find the red book? Where is the snail?"

 

7. Talk about similarities and differences

 

One of the subtle things I love about The Kissing Hand is that so many different animals are included in the illustrations. You could easily turn this into a discussion about how people have all kinds of differences. Some of the animals are little, or even tiny, while others are bigger. Some have feathers while others have fur or smooth skin. You could translate this into a discussion about diversity and inclusiveness or about bullying (after all, a lot of bullying happens due to someone being perceived as different in some way). 

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn and illustrated by Ruth E. Harper and Nancy M. Leak, is such a lovely and sweet book. I hope you'll pick up a copy for a child in your life.  

Grab a copy on Bookshop HERE.

Grab a copy from Amazon HERE.

Or, hit up your local library.

 

Links in this post may be affiliate in nature ~*~ making purchases through these links may result in a small commission to me at no extra cost to you. Thank you in advance.

3 Tips to Survive Camping with Kids

Many parents have mixed feelings about camping with children (especially small ones), and I get it! Before I had children of my own, I was a self-proclaimed parenting expert. I know there are several of you out there who were the same!

I was sure I would not let children change my life or impact the activities that I enjoyed in any way. I thought that it was silly when parents stayed home because of their children or gave up activities just because they now had littles running around and ruining all of the fun.

How hard could parenting be, right?

In our single days and our pre-children married days, my husband and I spent a lot of time camping -- not even glamorous camping. Rather, we liked the kind where you drive up in the middle of the night, throw your tent up, chug a few beers, and eat something from a can. We'd then get up, hike around, and hit the road again. Sometimes, we'd actually plan and pack "real" food and decide where we were going before it got dark. Other times, we were more spontaneous and just pitched our tent to break up a long road trip (another pre-kid favorite activity!).

Somewhere along way, we acquired a ridiculously large and obnoxious RV. We drove that thing everywhere, including around town just for the fun of it! We broke down several times, blew a tire or two, and maybe extinguished a small engine fire. Nothing stopped us, not even when we found out I was pregnant.

If anything we camped even more. However...

When our son was born we definitely became those boring, do nothing, stay at home parents pretty quickly. I was a nervous first time mom and was very strict with our nap, play, feeding routine.  Camping with kids didn't happen for a couple of years.

Fast forward 24 months. Our daughter was born and I started to get antsy.

We needed to get out of the house (and town!).

Our son loved the outdoors as much as mom and dad, despite his limited life experience to that point. So, we decided to head out of town. As luck would have it, the gigantic RV had met it's fate, and so we were only equipped with a tent and some cots. Our daughter was a preemie and slept 23 hours a day for her first few months, so I figured she could just come along and sleep the weekend away. We packed the house into our small SUV and hit the road with our (gigantic) dog. We had a lovely afternoon. We hiked, cooked, made s'mores, and just enjoyed the fresh air.

It was pretty idyllic!

Bedtime rolled around and we all snuggled into the tent to turn in for the night. Our tiny daughter slept soundly in a Pack-and-Play (portable crib) and our son loved being in a sleeping bag next to mom and dad. We were set for the night!

After sleeping for two hours we woke up to a family of 500 setting up their camp at MIDNIGHT directly across from us! They proceeded to scream, play games, and party for several more hours. We asked them to keep it down and they declined our request. Finally, around 3am, they seemed to be down for the night. Great! Only a few minutes later, the loudest storm rolled in and the sky opened up with pouring rain and thunder.

It was so loud in our tent! Our son was horrified (maybe a little terrified), but our tiny daughter never woke up despite all of the chaos! We didn't sleep a wink after that. Pouring down rain on a tent is about as loud rocks on a roof! It may be the loudest sound ever. Around 5am we decided to call the trip done and ran from the tent to our car, balled everything up as best we could, and headed home.

It took us several years to try family camping again, but we finally did and it's one of our favorite family past-times!

Here are 3 things that have made our life a little easier on the road and in the wild:

PACK WITH CARE
1.  Don't try to pack up the entire house, but don't pack too lightly either. Kids don't rough it as well as adults. While we don't usually take any technology with us, we don't disallow toys or other items that will entertain the kids. There is nothing worse on a camping trip than finally sitting down at the camp fire and your kid is begging you to entertain them (thunder and rain and huge partying families aside). We keep a little box of games, cards, and coloring items in our camper (a great compromise between a huge RV and a tent) so the items feel new and special when we go on a trip. We also have a Yahtzee game that is only for camping and we all look forward to playing it. We also don't fight the kids when they just want to hang out in the camper instead of exploring. It keeps them busy, it's something special, and it gives us some quiet time to ourselves.

EVERYBODY POOPS -- HAVE A BATHROOM PLAN!
2.  As soon as we get into the car, the tent or anywhere inconvenient, someone has to go to the bathroom. It's like a law or something. We do have a camper now, but we didn't for years. We decided to invest in a small portable toilet that we could easily keep in the tent for the late night potty needs and other times that there was no where else to go. While we didn't enjoy cleaning it out (it was a novelty at first and they both had to constantly use it because it was available), it saved us from wandering around the woods at night with two kids who had to pee but didn't want to go behind a tree. Not to mention it has saved me a time or two from having to leave our cozy tent in the freezing cold. I'll be honest, I can rough it like the best of them, but why do that when you don't have to? A bucket with a toilet seat on top also works as a makeshift toilet. This also makes it a lot easier to pack out what you pack in and leave the woods how you found them.

HAVE A DESTINATION OR ACTIVITY IN MIND
3.  Plan your trip around something that will be interesting to your children. I know adults have places they like to go, but if there isn't something to entertain your children, they are not going to enjoy the trip -- and neither will you. Both of our kids could go fishing for hours, so we look for campgrounds/sites that are near water with easy walking access. We also know that they will ride their bikes for hours if we go somewhere with paved paths. We always throw bikes and scooters in when packing up for a trip. We've found that if our kids have things to keep them engaged, they don't start fighting while camping.....which is a huge bonus in our books!

These may seem like simple tips, but they have saved our trips a few times over. We now successfully camp multiple times a year, and, while there may be hiccups now and then, we have a pretty good system in place. We especially love camping on the beach and catching our dinner for the night. We also have so many fond memories of camping at a special creek and watching our children spend the day fishing.

Wherever you end up going, I hope you make some special memories with your family. I know that your children will one day look back and cherish the memories you made with them.

Where are your favorite places to camp with kids? Do you have any essential items or tips that make your life easier? Drop a comment and let us know!

Hop aboard the hot mess express!

I love it when I have my life in order.

When my house is clean...
My laundry is on point..
The dishes are done.

Add in time to light a favorite candle and relax in an atmosphere of calm and order and you're speaking my love language.

What I don't love is that those put together moments of downtime and calm are are few and far between. And, I hate having to admit to myself that such a lifestyle isn't my reality right now.

My family just finished a season of youth soccer with not one, but two kids playing on separate teams. The season started before school even began this year. What did that mean for me as a mom? Four practices per week and two games per weekend. Once school began? Well, add in homework and other school-related activities and extra-curriculars for my kids, plus a class I'm attending every Thursday, and all of the other normal day-to-day stuff that makes up family life -- all that stuff that doesn't stop or even go on pause, no matter how desperately you may want it to.

I have to take a moment here to say, thank goodness for my husband! Not only is a great dad in his own right, but he also volunteers as coach to one of my kids' soccer teams. I think he's a keeper!

Finally, soccer season came to an end and I could relish in the calm, right?

Wrong!

Nope. We had one real week of what I consider "normal" life with zero practices. Zero games. Zero extra-curricular activities. Glorious, right?

Well, it was...briefly.

After this one week of calm, my husband left for a much deserved hunting trip out of state and I was home alone with the kids. You'd think by now, I'd have it dialed in as a mom? Right?

Nope. Again, wrong.

During the week without my husband, let's just say my parenting and being a responsible adult human skills all left a bit to be desired...

Life wasn't giving me a break and I still had normal life, a house, laundry and dishes, a dog and two cats, and two kids to take care of. Not to mention, my job as a teacher which actually takes a lot of time outside the classroom too.

I'm a planner though and love a good to do list and schedule. 

I started out strong. I washed clothes and towels as we used them, prepared semi-balanced meals, and gave tons of snuggles while reading with my kids before bedtime. Fast forward to day five...

I was on the struggle bus as a mom, and the kids may have been veering towards feral. One night was "snack night" for dinner and the next night was popcorn and chips. And, don't tell my husband, but I may have let the kids have soda too. Parenting without your partner counts as a special occasion, right?

Right?

I'm going to pretend that I didn't see my daughter pack up a bag of Halloween candy and haul it off to her room. And, I'm going to pretend that when she returned, chewing something, and I asked if she had breakfast, she said, "Yes" and I didn't even argue. A Snickers bar and mini-pack of Whoppers has some nutrition in it.

Right? Some?

I let the kids watch too much television while I zoned out on my phone. I ignored crumbs on the coffee table and let our giant of a dog take over as a four legged vacuum. I drank my weight in coffee and probably gave myself and ulcer in the process.

That said...

I wasn't totally unproductive or completely oblivious. 

I did purge four big bags of junk from my daughter's bedroom and threw away a disgustingly dirty rug. Yet, I still gave up mid-project in almost every room I entered despite my best intentions, and I went to bed with clean laundry covering the couch.

But, by Saturday night, I was tired and let my 8 year old stay up late so long as he put himself to bed while I lay on my own bed watching something cringe-worthy on TV. By this point, I was starting to feel like a pretty bad mom. I hadn't fed my kids a truly nutritious meal in several days. I gave up on reading to and with them a few days into our week without their dad, and I chose to accept it when they said they'd done responsible things on their own.

I had been counting down the days until my husband would be home, and after a night of extreme mom guilt, I got up, made a cup of coffee, and snuggled with my children on the couch. 

I felt so bad that I even apologized, saying, "I'm sorry I didn't make many good dinners this week and let you watch too much TV. I'm definitely not winning the mom award this week. 

Without missing a beat, my kids replied, "Mom, this was the best week! It was so fun and special! I hope we can have snack for dinner again! You're the best mom!"

WOW!

That stopped me in my tracks! 

While I'd been feeling like a complete failure as a mom, my kids thought I was rocking the whole mom thing. 

While I was feeling guilty over poor meal choices and not enforcing boundaries, my kids thought I was giving them special treats and allowing them extra fun!

It was a good reminder that my kids don't need a "perfect" mom and really just want me to be with them and share some fun, love, and laughter. 

On reflection, that's exactly what I gave them. We did snuggle and hang out together. WE laughed a lot. We jumped in leaves. We had a persimmon stand (think lemonade stand but with persimmons!). We swaddled our kittens, ate tons of popcorn, and walked our enormous dog. We were together, and that's what mattered most. 

Moms (and dads and guardians), let's remember that when we are in "hot mess" mode, we are still rocking for our kids. They have no idea that we look or feel like a disaster. They don't care if laundry and dishes pile up. The only care that we are together, making memories, being ourselves, and enjoying our time together.

So, tonight, I'm going to bed and giving myself a little more grace. My husband is home now and our family feels complete again, but I'll never forget the memories made during this past week. I was enough for my kids, even if I wasn't enough for myself.

Moms, dads, and guardians, give yourselves a break too. Especially if you are going it alone without a partner. Remember that your kids really just want you to be with them and to be building memories together. they don't care if your house is a mess or what chores you failed to complete.

I'm going to leave the dishes for another day and just snuggle my little ones tonight and know that I am enough for now.

When was the last time you felt like a hot mess? How do you think your kids viewed you? Leave us a comment and let us know!

 

You, your child, and poetry read alouds

If you've been following along with Mom2MomEd for any length of time, you'll surely be aware that we love reading. We also love reading aloud with our children--my son is 18 and I still enjoy reading aloud with him!

After I began homeschooling my son, halfway through his fourth grade year, we took our reading aloud to a new level and started a loose tradition of reading poetry and classic novels together during and after dinner. We didn't necessarily do this every night, but it did happen at least two or three times per week for a few years.

Reading aloud was special in our home for many reasons, but I especially cherish our loose tradition because it allowed my son and my mom to form a bond they might not have had otherwise. You see, I was a single mother and, for a time, we couldn't afford to live in our own place. As such, we moved in with my mom--my son's grandmother. My mom is pretty old school (no pun intended) when it comes to certain things related to children. This includes the idea that children should be seen and not heard. It also involves children always following directions from adults. My mom was a kindergarten teacher, and although she was beloved by her students and their families, my son and my mom had a rocky relationship.

Since we lived with my mom, my son and I often ate dinner with her, and thus we included her in many of our evening read aloud sessions. The three of us especially enjoyed reading poetry together. A couple of times per month, my son and I would go to the library, and among all of the books in our library haul, we'd each have a few books of poetry to share at the dinner table.

Since my son and my mom often had difficulty getting along--my mom wanting my son to be quieter and more compliant and my son wanting to ask questions and to explore and discuss the world around him--reading aloud together helped to bridge the gap.

We especially loved to take turns as we read. Often we would each read a poem aloud, passing the book at hand around the table several times so that we'd each read several pieces. Some nights we'd only spend 10 or 15 minutes reading to one another. On other nights, nights when we were all in particularly good moods or just really enjoying the material before us, we might sit at the table reading aloud for more than an hour.

There are many ways that you can encourage your kids to read more, but reading aloud with them is a surefire way to lead by example and spark a passion for books.

Over time, my son and I (and my mom) found that we drifted back to a few poets and collections of poetry over and over, eventually adding them to our own home libraries. We would love for you to visit your town or city's library and check out books and explore the world of literature, but we've also provided links below to several of our favorite poetry collections:

First we have two collections of classics:

• The Random House Book of Poetry for Children edited by the poet Jack Prelutsky
• A Children's Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson

 



And, then there are those classics that many parents of my generation grew up with--the mostly silly but sometimes serious works of Shel Silverstein:

• Where the Sidewalk Ends
• The Giving Tree
• A Light in the Attic

But then there are a huge number of terrific poetry collections and books that my son and I discovered through our evening read alouds and the local library. I encourage you to look for and enjoy these as well:

• Collected Poems for Children by Ted Hughes--Hughes is best known as the ex-husband of poet Sylvia Plath and most of his work is most appropriate for adults. This collection, however, is terrific for kids.

One of our favorite poetry books turned out to be a double duty find. We were able to combine punctuation practice with reading and poetry in Punctuation Celebration by Elsa Knight Bruno. I was expecting this cute little collection to be dry and boring, but we loved it!

And, finally, we loved all of these fun little books--even though my son is 18 now, we still have a few of these in our home library, and every now and then, I catch my son still pulling them out! How's that for an endorsement?

• Giant Children by Brod Bagert and Tedd Arnold
• The Dragons Are Singing Tonight by Jack Prelutsky
• For Laughing Out Loud edited by Jack Prelutsky
• Vile Verses and Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
• Science Verse by Jon Scieszka

While my little family of myself, my son, and my mom enjoyed reading aloud to one another at the dinner table, there are many ways you can encourage your kids to read more--we hope a read aloud session is just one of many methods you will use to increase the reading that happens in your home. 

No one--child or adult alike--is ever too old to read aloud or to be read to. Grab your family and a giant stack of pillows and make yourselves cozy on the living room floor if reading over dinner isn't your style.

Pitch a tent in the backyard, fill it with sleeping bags, stuffed animals, and a lantern and add several stacks of books for a Friday night read along.

Snuggle up with the family pets and take turns reading to Fido and Fluffy.

However you do it, keep reading to each other and simply enjoy the process of bonding over books. 

What's your favorite book to read aloud? Tell us about it in a comment!

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