End of the Year Wrap Up: A Teacher's Perspective

As I write this, we have 8 days of school left in our year (although it'll be summer break by the time you read this).

We began our year by counting the days we've been in session, and it's somehow morphed over to the ultimate countdown to summer. I look at this dwindling number with both excitement and pangs of sadness. My time with these little students--my charges for the school year--is almost up.

Since I teach at a Montessori school, there is a high probability that over half of my class will return to my care next year, but the 3rd graders will not. They'll be moving on to the world of Upper Elementary where there are no more birthday circles, homework is abundant, and independence is the key to success.

As I write this, I'm taking a break from filling out report cards. It is exciting to see the measurable data in student progress. Looking at beginning, middle, and end of the year test scores can sure make me crack a smile! However, the things that you can't measure--and no one else can really see--are the most valuable to me. Too bad it's the least important data for a report card.

Report cards don't capture how many hugs we gave (and received) this year, how many times a student stopped what they were doing to help a friend, who participated in class discussions or the several times we completely got derailed in order to stop and appreciate each other.

I value the academic accomplishments and am so proud of my students, but I really want to highlight some of the biggest milestones we had this year.

At lunch one day, one of my most reserved students felt safe enough to respectfully advocate her perspective on adopting animals. She did it in such a mature and kind manner that I was completely taken aback. I emailed her mom to let her know how proud I was of this young girl.

I also had a student who is so shy that he hardly ever speaks in group settings. He has gained some confidence this year, but I was completely blown away when he nailed his solo part in our class play! He sang his little heart out on stage. I was teary eyed watching him and again while writing this.

I have a little first grade boy who demonstrated to the class what grace looks like during a puzzle contest in which he challenged me. He's an expert puzzle master (but so am I) and all year he's asked if we can do a "puzzle challenge." With 20 minutes on the clock, we both frantically scrambled to put a 100 piece puzzle together in the classroom in front of our biggest fans (my other students). He's good enough that I couldn't let my guard down and I ended up winning (barely). Instead of sulking, he stood up and gave me a high five and said, "Ms. McKenzie, thank you for doing that with me." His reaction speaks volumes for his character.

Report cards also don't measure the fact that this year one of our classmates passed away. It doesn't show the compassion these kids were capable of, the tears that were shed, and the projects that were sprung into action to memorialize a good friend. It doesn't show that we lost instruction time because we were too sad and confused to go on. Or that I now have a huge stack of books about the loss of a child and my class has every one of them memorized. 

Report cards don't show that their little hearts had to go through so much.

They don't show the times that I asked students to just pitch in and help me get things done and the little sleeves that rolled up instantly. They don't show the coffee that was delivered, the lunch that was shared or the times that we all belly laughed together.

My favorite memory of this year happened right after we returned from winter break. Our classmate passed away while we were on break, and I was distracted and foggy one day and stood in the lunch line holding up 3 fingers instead of our usual 2 finger peace sign. One student said, "What are you doing Ms. McKenzie?"

I immediately snapped to it and felt myself getting embarrassed and turning red. They must have noticed because they all sprung into action saying, "That's OK, Ms. McKenzie! It just means extreme peace." I looked around and all 23 little hands were proudly holding up 3 fingers to save my pride. I started crying, of course, and proudly displayed my 3 finger peace sign the rest of the way to the lunch room.

To this day you'll find my class holding up 3 fingers instead of 2, 99-percent of the time. It's a special memory that only this particular class will ever really understand. I know that five years from now, if we run into each other in the halls and hold up 3 fingers it will be like our own little secret language.

So, while I value data and understand the importance of assessments, I also value life experiences just as much. While I'm writing report cards and inputing numbers, I'm also reviewing our year together. If your student didn't get the highest points on a math assessment or isn't reading at the desired level, remember that doesn't mean your child isn't successful. I can guarantee that your child's teacher can rattle off a hundred special memories from their year together that would demonstrate what type of person your children are much more effectively than any data driven report card can.

So my little birds are getting ready to fly the nest.

I'll send them on their way and wait for some of them to return to me next year. For those that won't, I'll check on them (secretly of course) and wait for the opportunity to hold up 3 fingers next time I see them in the hall.

How did the year finish up for your kids? What are you looking forward to for summer and next school year? Leave a comment and let us know!

Teaching kids to be grateful--is it possible?

Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to teach young children (and older ones too) how to be grateful. I know they are sponges and are always soaking up their environment, so if we model how to be grateful they should pick it right up, right?

NO.

Not only will they not necessarily pick up how to be grateful, but they will also embarrass you at the most inopportune times with how ungrateful they actually are!

We happen to have two kids who have birthday's almost immediately after Christmas. My son's just so happens to be 10 days after. Yes, 10 days. I have a summer birthday and always thought it was awesome to receive gifts throughout the year.

My kids, however, pretty feel like they get gifts, gifts, and more gifts once per year and then, what? No more gifts?

Waaaaaa!

Not only is there a TON  of kid stuff flying in and out of here, especially with Christmas followed by two birthdays, but we also are bound to have duplicate gifts some point. This is why I've made sure my kids understand: It's the thought that counts.

If someone gives you something that they think you will enjoy you say, "Thank you."

That is all.
You don't add a "But...." or an "I wish..." or an "I already have...."  

You just say, "Thank you."

This is a big time pet peeve of mine.

I went to a birthday party when Hank was a baby, and the child opening the gifts got two of the same things. Instead of saying thank you, there were full on tears and meltdowns because everyone should know that they were going to get a duplicate. The parent coddled the child, the child continued to cry, and I'm sure the gift givers felt bad. I felt annoyed, personally, and I vowed to make sure that my child would NEVER act like that. (I've learned now to never say never because our children are all bound to embarrass us at some point).

As early as it was feasibly possible, my husband and I started practicing being grateful with our kids. I know that modeling behavior is beneficial, but role playing is my go to when teaching my kids how to act in certain situations.

I mean, practice makes perfect, right???

I remember wrapping up toys that my son already owned and having him open them. Inside of some packages were his favorite toys, but others had items like a baby spoon or junk mail--things he wasn't interested in.

My son opened each packaged and then practiced saying, "Thank you so much! I love it."  We also practiced saying thank you if you get a duplicate gift and just setting it aside with the knowledge that I would help him to exchange the duplicate for something else later.

Now, with my daughter, she has not only her parents to model gratitude and grace for her, but also her brother.

While my kids are far from perfect, (and do say the wrong things at the worst possible times) I can honestly say that receiving gifts has been something that they have graciously done so far. I know that they get overly excited, can't wait to open presents, and can also give me a list a mile long of all of the things they "want", but over the last few years, they have learned to be appreciative of someone giving them gifts, even things they weren't that into.

In fact, this morning, my little guy looked at me and said, "You know what I'm most excited about this Christmas, Mom? It's spending time with my family."

Cue proud mommy moment and waterworks!  Whew!

While I have made a ton of parenting mistakes, yelled too many times at my kids, lost my mind, and tried to hide alone in the bathroom, I have also apparently done something right.

'Tis the season of chaos and gifts. You can't really get around it.

I'm challenging you to step back and think of one thing you've done right with or for your children this holiday season......and pat yourself on the back for that job well done!

What are some parenting things that you are most proud of? Do you have a parenting pet peeve, like I do, that really gets under your skin?  Share your experiences in the comments!

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Make the spirit of giving a year-round affair

Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is only 11 days away as I write this. Typically at this time of year, people are asked to donate food, coats, blankets, and other items to those in need. This post is no exception...

Although I am devoted to Mom2MomEd and the work I am doing with McKenzie, I have to tell you that my day job is also a true passion. I work in emergency medicine and at a community-based urban hospital that serves a HUGE homeless population in addition to regular city residents. I see people in need all day, every day at my job.

Many of the homeless that I see have serious mental health and substance abuse issues, but I also see many that are hardworking, stand-up citizens who have run into the worst luck of their lives and are struggling to get upright again.

Regardless of the reasons for their struggles, these are people in need, and sometimes a little bit can go a long way. 

Most are in need of things you and I take for granted every day. Look around you--when was the last time you really thought about how much your toothbrush and toothpaste or a blanket or a clean pair of socks actually impacts your life? For the people served by my hospital these are HUGE.

I want to encourage you to donate a few extra items this month in the spirit of the giving season, but then I want to challenge you further to donate a full grocery bag of food, hygiene products, or other items to the needy EVERY month in 2017. 

Will you join me in this endeavor?

Before I get into specific items, here are a few things to consider when deciding what and where to make your donations:

• For canned items, those with a pop top (that don't require a can opener) are ideal.
• When possible avoid glass jars and bottles as they break more easily and can lead to injuries if they break.
• Ask if your food bank needs grocery bags or boxes (people need something to carry home their items).
• If you have fruit trees or a vegetable garden, ask if your food bank or pantry can accept produce--some can.
• If you have a farm or butcher animals, ask if a homeless shelter or food bank can take meat--my uncle just had a cow butchered and was able to donate pretty much all of the meat to a homeless shelter.
• Give your local food bank money or grocery store cards. They often don't have the funds to cover many of their costs. 
• Donate foods you would actually want to eat and products you would actually want or need to use--no one wants that can of weird vegetables you bought on a whim 10 years ago and never got around too because it's too odd.

And, here are some specific product donation ideas based on my own experiences with those in need locally, from my experiences teaching and tutoring students in need, and from researching what food banks and shelters have on their wish lists:

PROTEIN
canned tuna (in water)
canned chicken (in water or own juices)
canned beans
peanut, nut, sunflower seed butters
canned, jarred, or bagged nuts

CANNED FOODS
soup, stew, chili (my local Dollar Tree often has LOTS of this and often pop-top cans)
canned meats or fish (see protein above)
low sodium canned vegetables
canned fruit (preferably in their own juice and not syrup, but NOT pineapple or anything weird)

HOLIDAY FOODS
canned cranberries or sauce
boxed stuffing mix
canned green beans
canned sweet potatoes or yams
marshmallows

BABY ITEMS
diapers and wipes
diaper rash ointment
Pull-Ups
canned formula
boxed baby cereal
boxed teething biscuits
jarred baby food
Pediasure and Pedialyte

KID FRIENDLY ITEMS
granola bars
fruit snacks
juice boxes or pouches (100% juice)
shelf-stable milk boxes, incl soy or almond milk alternatives
mac-and-cheese
snack cracker packs
pudding or Jell-O cups
unsweetened applesauce (cinnamon is great, but look for all natural, unsweetened varieties)
boxes of crackers
snack pack/size crackers and chips

PANTRY ITEMS
salt and pepper
seasonings, spices, seasoning mixes
jars and bottles of mustard, mayo, ketchup, etc
olive or canola oil
salt/pepper
low-sugar, whole grain cereals
oatmeal
packaged pasta
pasta sauce
packaged or instant rice
microwavable popcorn
boxed meals that require ONLY water to make
ground coffee and tea

HYGIENE ITEMS
single rolls and larger packages of toilet paper (in package...not just rolls from packages you bought for you own household)
toothpaste, toothbrushes, dental floss
deodorant
bar soap
basic shampoo and conditioner
menstrual pads and panty liners (tampons are useful, but pads are more easily changed and can be used for more than just a period)
disposable razors and shaving lotion/cream
chapstick or lip balm

OTHER ITEMS
underwear for all members of family
socks
blankets
coats/jackets
school supplies
small "mess kits" with a basic cooking pot, cup, plate, and utensil set for one person (for example, for a newly homeless person)
sleeping bags
scarves, gloves, and winter hats
dog and cat food
dog poop bags

PLEASE DON'T DONATE:
boxed cake, cookie, brownie, etc mixes
alcohol
soda
candy

What are YOU committed to doing for those in need in 2017? 

Personally, I have made it my goal to donate:

• 24 FULL bags of groceries (2 per month)
• 48 toothbrushes and toothpaste tubes (4 each per month)
• 48 packages of menstrual pads and liners (4 each per month)
• 24 books (2 per month)

McKenzie has committed to donating:

• 12 FULL bags of books and toys (1 per month)
• 48 self care items (4 per month)
• Blankets and towels for her local animal shelter
• Doing good deeds in her neighborhood

But, I hope to add lots of socks, several coats, and many packages of diapers and dog food too. Check back throughout the year to see our donations pile up and share yours as well!

Comment and let us know what YOU will commit to donating or doing for your local community in 2017!

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And, while you are in the spirit of giving, get into the gratitude attitude as well! We've created a simple, one sentence gratitude journal, available in three colors, for you to create a simple daily gratitude practice. Just write down one sentence every evening or morning about what you are grateful for that day! Keep it up for a month and then read it over whenever you are feeling down. Get yours in our Etsy shop HERE or click on the image:

5 Unexpected things I'm grateful for as a mom and wife

Tis the season to be thankful, full of love, and surrounded by family more than ever! 

I love scrolling through social media and seeing everyone's beaming faces and happy families! I also love hearing about your adventures, seeing your kids grow up, and watching you precariously place your Elf on the Shelf in the craziest of places.

I also know that, despite your smiles, you are tired too. Your house isn't always as pretty as it was in that Pinterest perfect moment, and maybe that's why you took a second to snap the picture.

I know that you are up late with your kids when they have school functions and then up early the next day to get them back to school.
I know that you don't have enough time for yourself because you give all of yourself every single day without fail to your family and friends.

I know you....because I too am doing the same.

Lately, I have been thinking about all of things that I have to be thankful for in my life, and this year they feel a little different. My family has undergone some major transformations this year.

We're different.

We're in school, we're growing up, we're changing jobs, dealing with health issues, getting more organized, and yet barely holding it together at times.

It's funny how those times when it seems like the tides are turning are also the times that we learn the most about ourselves and what we really need.

While I'm thankful for my family and friends and my home, I also realized how important and thankful I am for some more unexpected parts of my life.

Here are 5 of the unconventional things that I am most thankful for this year:

1. Random acts of kindness--doing them and being on the receiving end.
I must have been sending out some signals to the coffee gods because on two occasions, almost back-to-back, I was sitting in the drive thru of Starbucks, prepared to pay for my drink, only to find out that the the person ahead of me had already paid for my coffee (AKA: mom-fuel!). Those two moments happened to be on days that I really needed my coffee and a mental pick me up. They were perfect and made me realize how much we're all connected and that a small, random act of kindness can really can make a difference in someone's day. Even better, I was able to pay it forward and treat the person behind me as well. I wonder how long the chain lasted...

2. A really good dryer.
Yep, you read that right. While I admittedly hate laundry, I am super duper grateful for my working dryer. I've never had a good one, and the last one we had needed to be kicked in a certain spot and jiggled just right to keep the heating element working properly. Finally, one day, it just gave out. I cannot even tell you how frustrating it was not having a dryer with two kids who love mud and a husband who wore a uniform to work every day--can you say constant laundry? Almost right away, we got a call that my parents' neighbors were getting rid of a perfectly good top of the line dryer and did we want it? The only reason they were getting rid of it was because their washer died and they wanted to make sure they had a matching set. Score! It makes a huge difference when you actually have a working dryer!

3. Rainy days.
Not only do we need the rain here in California, but I love how it sort of forces you to stop and take a breather. I love days where we can stay in our pajamas, watch movies, read, and drink hot chocolate. Those lazy days are about so much more than just relaxing or getting out of other responsibilities. They allow me to refocus on hobbies and interests I often don't have time for (like reading) and to spend more focused time with my family since we are all cooped up inside together.

4. My bullmastiff.
I am a dog lover and have strong feelings about how owners should treat their pets--your pets are just like members of your family. Our bullmastiff has been the best dog we could have ever hoped for when it comes to our kids. He also got me through a very hard time when I lost my first fur baby, and he has been by my side as I brought both of my human babies home from the hospital. He's gotten up with me every night when I had to feed and change them. He's been on both of their first walks, first bike rides, first hikes, and first camping trips. He lays in bed with me when my husband is out of town and keeps me company. All of the looks and comments I get about having a 150-pound dog just make me laugh. He is such a baby and couldn't be any more special to our family.

5. The internet.
I know, how could we live without it? You wouldn't be reading this blog right now if it weren't for the internet. I am thankful for it because of the information that is always at my fingertips. My kids wanted to make caramel corn the other day and boom......I found a recipe. We look up all kinds of things, including how to draw animals, videos of people taking care of lizards, craft ideas, and so on. I am still amazed at how awesome the internet is! I didn't grow up with a computer in my house, and when my parents finally did get one, no one really knew how to use it. The difference between technology when I was growing up and technology available to my children is simply amazing!

What are some unexpected or unconventional things that you are thankful for? Share in a comment and let us know!

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