McKenzie and Todd recently wrote about their family’s experience attempting to register their son for kindergarten only to find out that open enrollment is almost anything but open.
As I read her post, I began to reflect on my own
son’s kindergarten experience. It was a bit of tumultuous time for us as we
were only two years out of a domestic abuse situation, living with my mom, and
I was working night shift.
As McKenzie experienced, my son did not get into
our first choice or second choice or third choice kindergarten through open
enrollment. I didn’t have the mental energy at the time to look beyond those
three choices and enrolled him at our neighborhood school. Although most
schools in the local school district had favorable reputations, this particular
school did not--in fact, this school’s reputation was quite poor and,
unfortunately, many students attending this school only did so because their
parents had little other choice. They didn’t have money to pay for a private
school, a car to drive them to another school, or other circumstances that made
any other school attendance quite difficult.
I could drive my son to another school and even
had family able to help facilitate this, but I couldn’t muster the brain power
and energy to fight the system or to keep up with working nights, juggling
being both daughter and parent in one household, and everything else in life!
I enrolled my son in the neighborhood school.
It was apparent from the first day this was not
a great choice...
- The teacher tended to treat all boys as trouble makers.
- The administration refused to agree to administer my son’s epi-pen should he have a severe food allergy. The school would keep it in the nurse’s office, but if he was having a severe allergic reaction, I would have to drive to the school to administer the epi-pen. Need I add that children in the United States have DIED because of such policies?
- His teacher refused to keep a bag (provided by me) of allergy-friendly snacks for him to eat on days when other kids brought cupcakes for birthdays or other treats. She said he’d just have to do without and have a treat when he got home.
This was all on the first day.
Then, a few weeks in, my son was incredibly
bored. He was finishing his work faster than the other kids and expected to sit
still until the others were done. He wasn’t allowed to take out a blank piece
of paper and draw or write or to get a book to read silently. He just had to
sit there.
Within a month, my son was regularly getting in
trouble because he would finish his work early (and it would be done
correctly…), and since he was not allowed to do anything but sit and wait, he
had begun to put his head down on the desk. Occasionally, he fell asleep while
waiting for others to be done and the teacher to move on to the next lesson.
I tried talking to the teacher many times, and
she steadfastly refused to allow him to read or to draw or to write while
waiting for other kids. She insisted that he sit upright, quietly and still, and
just wait.
She refused to give him additional work to fill
the time. She refused to meet me halfway and branded my son as a troublemaker
even though his only crime was laying his head on his desk and occasionally
falling asleep due to boredom.
I began calling the district office once per
week and our top three choice schools every other week. No spaces were
available. He was far down the waiting list at all of these schools. Even
having my own mom as a teacher at one of these schools was of no help.
Finally, I received a call that there was an
opening at our first choice! I had 24 hours to accept or they’d offer it to the
next child on the list.
I accepted on the spot!
Fall rolled around, I met with the
administration and teacher at my son’s new school and was so excited! This was
a public school with a reputation for being progressive, encouraging parent
participation (boasting better than 90% parent participation!), and individual
differentiation to meet the needs of ALL students with extensive science AND
art programs. I was so excited!
My son was excited!
I was excited!
I was excited!
The first day of the school year and I knew
something was wrong. Suddenly all those things promised by the administration
and the teacher were gone. Progressive? Forget it. Parent participation? You
also had the “privilege” of paying “participation” fees every single month and
if you didn’t volunteer in the classroom, you were essentially shamed at
monthly meetings (apparently having a 40 hour per week day job, as many parents
did, was not an acceptable excuse), and differentiation? Only if the teacher
liked your child.
Once again, my son was bored and boys were
treated like little devils while girls were treated like angels in my son’s
classroom—even when the teacher and parents witnessed female students
misbehaving!
It was pretty much a repeat of our kindergarten
experience, and once again, we were stuck. We were on wait lists—long ones.
Then, the bullying began, but that’s a post for
another day.
Fast forward to the following year, second grade
and two weeks in and we received the call!
My son was IN at the next top school on our list—a
school I had visited many times as my niece already attended there. I had
already talked to staff and teachers and new it would be a good fit for us. We
accepted immediately and the next day my son had a new school!
It was the best decision (at the time—a few
years later we jumped into homeschooling) and my son thrived!
McKenzie and Todd have a lot of concerns about
their children’s kindergarten experience, and I totally get it. I hope their
experience will be much better than ours and that the school will surprise them
and be wonderful for their son, but if it’s not, I get it! I totally and
completely get it!
As a been-there-done-that parent, I can honestly
look back and say to McKenzie and Todd that in time they will find the right
place, the right method, the right environment for their kids.
What about you? Do you have older kids? What was
your experience with kindergarten and the first few years of formal education?
Did you change schools or switch to a different approach like homeschooling? Or
did you start out homeschooling and switch to a traditional school? Share in
the comments!
Check out all of our kindergarten posts HERE!
Check out all of our kindergarten posts HERE!
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