Do your children receive
an allowance or commission for doing chores and being helpful around the house?
I briefly received an
allowance and was occasionally paid to do chores, and I occasionally pay my son
for chores, but for the most part, I believe everyone in the family is
responsible for helping out and pitching in and a reward shouldn’t be a given.
If you are part of the
family, you are responsible for doing chores. End of story.
If there are bigger
tasks, unusual or uncommon projects, or chores that occur only on rare
occasion, I’m happy to offer my son a financial or other incentive to help, but
for the day-to-day tasks around the house? Nope, sorry buddy, you just have to
pitch in and help!
However...
Those ideas were brought
to a screeching halt one summer when my son’s dad (I have been a single mom
since my son was 4) had two of his other children, two tween girls, stay with
us for several weeks. Both girls knew I expected them to do chores, and often
they would pitch in with a few tasks here and there if they stayed overnight or
for a weekend, but this was their first extended stay with us.
They did NOT want to do
regular chores on a regular basis.
They did NOT want to
have a list of tasks to follow each day or each week.
They did NOT want to
help out AT ALL.
Until...
I added a financial
incentive.
I created a chore chart
and assigned each sister half of the chores for the first week. The following
week they would trade chores and so on for the duration of their stay. I also
added a $10 incentive if they finished all of their chores by the end of the
week.
Guess what happened?
Sunday, nothing was
done.
Monday, nothing was
done.
Tuesday, nothing was
done.
Wednesday, several
suggestions regarding chores were given, and nothing was done.
Thursday, my frustration
was mounting and numerous other suggestions were made, but still nothing was
done.
Friday, yep, still
nothing done.
Saturday, absolutely
nothing done...by either girl.
I was frustrated,
annoyed, and angry. I was a new mom, my son’s dad literally did no chores
either, and I just couldn’t handle the added load of two tweens and their needs
without help.
Why didn’t I force them
to do their chores? Why didn’t I yell? Why didn’t I get their dad to make them
do their chores?
Oh, if only there were
an easy answer, my friends!
First of all, these were
not my kids and I was not married to their dad. Second, their dad wasn’t doing
any chores either and I couldn’t motivate him to help me. Third, their dad was
an emotional, verbal, and mental abuser to all of us and we all had problems
much greater than chores, even if we didn’t want to face those issues at the
time {{stories for another day!}}.
After another week or
two of no chores, mounting frustration on my part, and mounting hunger on the
part of the girls for the money attached to their chore charts but no
motivation to actually DO their chores and I hit on an idea...
It was brilliant!
I wish I’d thought of it
earlier!
It was so simple and it
worked PERFECTLY!
I turned the chore
charts and financial reward into a competition.
I sat both girls down
and explained the new chore chart rules and how they could earn their $10 each
week. It went like this:
- Each girl would still receive half of the chore chart, switching back and forth each week, and would still be eligible to get their $10 if they completed their chores by the end of the week.
- If ONE finished their chores by the deadline (I believe it was 6pm on Saturday), but the other did NOT, the one who DID finish their chores would receive BOTH allowances—$20 instead of $10.
- If they BOTH finished their chores by the deadline, they both would receive their individual $10.
- If neither finished their chores by the deadline, I kept the money for that week.
One of the two girls did
ALL of her chores within two hours of my explaining the new rules—ALL of her
chores! Every single one! The other sister kept saying all week long that she’d
do her chores “later...” Later never came around, apparently, because she
didn’t do a single chore the entire week.
Guess who got $20 and
who got none?
And, I forgot to
mention...one of the rules was that if someone got the full $20 they could NOT
spend any of it on the sister who received nothing/did no chores. This was an
all-or-nothing situation.
The next week, who do
you think completed all of their chores immediately upon receiving her chore
list?
Yep, the sister who hadn’t done a thing the week before and had to watch
as I gave her sister $20. After that, both girls completed all of their chores.
Not only that, but they both completed all of their chores right away.
As an only child, my son
didn’t have anyone to bring out that competitive streak, and after leaving his
dad, I didn’t always have the money to pay him for extra chores, but as
mentioned, I truly believe everyone in the family should pitch in without
financial incentive. However, if you are struggling to motivate your kids to do
their chores, consider this one additional tool that just might help!
What is the most unusual
motivational method you have used to get kids to do chores? Share your
experiences by leaving a comment!
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chores and kids something that does not go together well. Glad you found a way to work it all out
ReplyDeletecome see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com